Pietro's Movie Review: HAYWIRE

I love smart movies that follow the "show me, don't tell me" principle, while challenging me to figure little things out for myself along the way. A large portion of director Stephen Soderbergh's list of films, including Ocean's Eleven, Out of Sight and Contagion, fall into this category. Unfortunately, his latest outing -- which has been touted as a smart, sophisticated action-thriller with the first "real" female action star of the decade -- did not.

I can't begin reviewing Haywire without stating that, first and foremost, Gina Carano tried. She tried to look sexy at times, she tried to look deadly at other times and she tried to show off her bad ass fight moves a few times. This is the feature film debut for the former Mixed Martial Arts champ, and under the tutelage of a more conventional director, with a much better script, I think she would have shined. But Gina Carano lacks the charisma of George Clooney, the charm of Matt Damon and the magnetism of Julia Roberts that made her flounder in a role that the aforementioned Soderbergh veterans would have flourished in. This movie needed major star power in it's lead, not in it's supporting roles.

This is not an action film, nor is it a thriller. There are five very brief action scenes scattered throughout, and those consist of Carano's Mallory Kane -- a former Marine civilian contractor who works high risk, government mercenary jobs -- throwing fisticuffs with whatever guy recently pissed her off. First it's a bodyguard on a job in Barcelona, Spain, followed by an Irish hitman played by Michael Fassbender, then two random (and rather incompetent) S.W.A.T. team members, followed by her one time partner Channing Tatum and finally Ewen McGregor. I can't even remember these guy's names in the film, even though Soderbergh forced an expository scene where Malory (at gunpoint) tries to make a young man she hijacked repeat them over and over. Why does she do that? Who cares. Mallory, as well as her father (Bill Paxton), are former members of the United States Marine Corps; a plot point is hammered into the dialogue every few minutes. If it wasn't for that repetition, though, I wouldn't have guessed that either of them were highly trained, combat veterans; so I guess it served a point. If I were to judge the Marine Corps based on the actions of these two cinematic individuals I'd chalk the entire outfit up as posers who can take a punch.

If you've seen the trailers for this film you've seen all the parts I feel are worth watching, which is infuriating because it had so much potential. The dialogue, courtesy of Dark City screenwriter Lem Dobbs, would have worked better with another starlet in the lead; or it should have been reworked once Carano was cast. The set designs were dull and the eerily familiar, horn-infused score was prevalent throughout; also, the one shot that implemented CGI effects was horrible. Michael Douglas is also in it. I think he's a good guy but he may be a bad guy.

Haywire could have made a statement about female equality, it could have shown that unconventional filmmaking works to stimulate a a cookie cuter genre; hell, it could have at least been entertaining (I fell asleep twice). I could go on and on, but I truly don't want to spend more time writing this review than I did sitting through this 90 minute film. If you're a hardcore fan of Soderbergh films -- you love the gold color palate, non-linear storytelling, confusing albeit sassy dialogue, long lens walking/running scenes set to the Ocean's Eleven soundtrack -- you'll get a kick out of this film. For me, who's expectations of spy/action/thriller films were immensely raised by the Bourne and (latest) Mission: Impossible films, not to mention last year's Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I was completely disappointed. For a self proclaimed action film, it bored me.