TOP 10: Cassie Picks Nicolas Cage's Most Ridiculous Movie Moments

Nicolas Cage has become synonymous with horrible films. In the last year alone he was featured in such disasters as Trespass, Drive Angry and Season of the Witch. What follows is a compilation of the best of the worst of Cage’s movie moments from films I've personally seen spanning from the beginning of his career in the 80’s to his most recent releases.

10. Drinks out of a man's skull and drives into Hell – DRIVE ANGRY

After escaping from Hell, John Milton (no, not that John Milton) is tracking down a group of Satanists who murdered his daughter and plan to sacrifice his grandchild to bring about the end of the world. For some reason he makes a promise to drink beer out of the kidnapper’s skull as a reward for killing him. Milton completes his mission, drinks out of the celebratory skullcap, and drives back to Hell while a cover of Meatloaf’s “Alive” plays. To top it off, all of this is filmed in glorious 3-D and features Cage simultaneously screwing and shooting. Not that you want to see that.

When stuntman Johnny Blaze transforms into the Ghost Rider after making a pact with Mephistopheles (the Devil?) to gain back his soul, Cage chooses to go the campy route and make his first transformation into the flaming skulled crusader more comical than horrifying. From staring painfully at his hands (which aren’t even on fire even though his feet are) to showing off his patented 'crazy eyes', Cage takes this famed Marvel character and stomps on his dignity. Repeatedly.

Awful, mullety long haired recent parolee Cameron Poe hops aboard an aircraft full of dangerous prisoners, ready to return to his family in Alabama. Because that makes sense. Unfortunately for him, a riot ensues aboard the plane and the prisoners take over. RUH ROH! When one of the inmates touches the stuffed bunny he bought his daughter for her birthday, which is coincidentally the same day of his release, hilarity ensues with this oft-quoted line delivered in a painful and constantly fluctuating accent only Nic is capable of.

Peter Loew is convinced that he is becoming a vampire, despite the fact that his fangs have yet to grow in. He takes to wearing sunglasses during the daytime, hiding under his sofa in lieu of an actual coffin, and staring into mirrors obsessed with his lack of a reflection. You would think one would want to keep their Vampirism a secret, but not here. Instead, Loew takes to the streets screaming, “I’m a vampire”. Seeing Cage trying to garble words out through a set of plastic vampire teeth is truly inspiring acting.

Starring the equally disastrous John Travolta (see Battlefield Earth), Cage plays seedy and mentally unstable terrorist Castor Troy. Before he and Travolta change faces (and inexplicably their voices), Troy is temporarily masquerading as a priest, hitting on women and making extremely amusing faces in the process.

Did I say amusing? I meant creepy. The creepy faces of a crazy person. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the most frightening “O face” ever.

While being known as one of the worst films of Cage’s career (so far), Wicker Man, a remake of the 1973 British film is also one of the most hilarious. This scene doesn’t really need any context, because it’s so much funnier without an explanation. All you need to know is that the person in the bear suit is Nicolas Cage and this is not the only woman he punches throughout the course of the film. Oh, and he's dressed as a woman dressed as a bear. Almost forgot that part.

If you thought the first clip from Vampire’s Kiss was amusing, then you have yet to see this scene. Featured toward the end of the film here we find Peter Loew completely devolved into a gibbering mess. Still stuck on the delusion that he is, in fact, a vampire (despite being barely recognized by his “sire”) Loew roams the streets of New York doing nothing and Cage gets the opportunity to show off his “acting” chops. At least in New York such behavior is commonplace.

With his jowls firmly set in place, decorated New Orleans Police Sergeant Terrence McDonagh finds himself in hot water when he owes money to his bookie. He pairs up with a gangster named Big Fate, and trades police information for cash and drugs.

In order to finalize their partnership, the two men have to smoke out of McDonagh’s “lucky crack pipe” and we witness a series of increasingly ridiculous crack laughs and nonsensical stories.

Directed and co-written by Cage’s brother Christopher Coppola, this film has the distinction of being the only movie on this list with a 0% Rotten Tomatoes rating (Wicker Man is in second place with 15%). After an attempt is made on his life, Eddie comes home to throw things, imitate mentally disabled people, beat up a mattress, and yell about France. This is undoubtedly a role that Cage was born to play.

You knew this was coming. You knew it had to be number one. Combining a ludicrous plot line and some pretty terrible dialogue, the end of police officer Edward Malus is a death that shall go down as one of the funniest torture scenes in cinema (History of the World: Part 1 notwithstanding). Poor Nicolas Cage, you should have listened to your fictional counterpart and turned down this film. “Not the bees!” Not the bees indeed.